


Always Home To You

by Jester85



Series: Conversations [6]
Category: Actor RPF
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, M/M, insecure Haz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-23 11:54:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14933786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jester85/pseuds/Jester85
Summary: The concert was a blast, but something's wrong with Haz.





	Always Home To You

**Author's Note:**

> I make no claims to be writing anything other than fanfiction, and I am not trying to suggest anything about what actually goes on between Tom and Haz, suggest they're a couple, or suggest how either of them actually feels about anything.
> 
> Also this is basically my first attempt at writing Tom and Haz having an actual fight (verbally). Sorry if it's not good, or if it's not what you come here to read.

"You're being quiet," Tom observed in the Uber on the way home.

Haz thinks rather resentfully that he's surprised his boyfriend noticed.  Is that an uncharitable thought?  He can't tell anymore.

XOYO was a blast, and hanging out with YOTA backstage was awesome, though lately, as hard he still tries to believe Tom loves him, Haz suspects he's beginning to love the spotlight _more._

Haz doesn't begrudge his boy the opportunities that are falling into his lap, Tom deserves the whole fucking world, but now that he's finally getting it, well....Haz worries whether there's still room for him.

And as thrilled as he is to be cast in Catch-22, it's not the best timing when he's already worried about growing distance between him and Thomas.  He knows it's healthy to have his own life to lead, that simply being Tom's sidekick won't help him realize his own ambitions---he and Charlotte have had that talk before---but....he worries.  And there's that little part of him that wishes he could keep Tom and himself in that safe little bubble from before everything got crazy, where their relationship was something sacred, safe, shared with them and them alone.

Is he a selfish man?  He doesn't know.

"Hey," Tom asks a touch more sharply, annoyed by Haz zoning out.  "Earth to Harrison."

And ouch, he only calls him Harrison when he's being a bit put out, and Haz looks over, meets his questioning gaze.  Tom really looks good, albeit knackered, with his hair long and floppy and falling down in his face, although the fact that he's still wearing Zendaya's orange jacket doesn't do much to allay Haz's insecurities.  It doesn't escape him how much Tom mentions Z.  And he's wearing Tom's jacket too, but well, nobody knows that besides sleuths on the internet, so that's not really as big of a declaration, is it?

"I'm fine," he mumbles, not even knowing how to articulate the jumble of thoughts swirling around in his bed.

"I didn't think you minded if I wore the jacket," Tom says a little softer.  It throws the PR guys a bone.

"It's not about the jacket, Thomas," Haz scowls.  He doesn't want to get pissed at Tom, but he also doesn't feel like doing this right now, cornered in the back of a bloody Uber.

*** * ***

"Okay, what?" Tom demands when they're home, and yea he's irritated.  Not surprising considering Harrison's been giving him the silent treatment all the way home.

"What what?" Haz tries stalling until he can get away, into the shower, where he can wash the night off of him, collect his thoughts, settle his troubled mind.

"Don't play dumb," Tom snaps, tossing the jacket down on the sofa, "What are you being all bitchy about??  I brought you with me because I thought you'd like it."

"Yeah, better let that Osterfield tosser tag along, 'cause that's all he's good for, innit?" Haz bites back with real scorn in his voice, and _where is that coming from, "_ The sidekick of Tom Holland, the great movie star, riding his bloody coattails."

Tom takes a step back, looking a little hurt and a little pissed.  "Where the fuck is that coming from?  You know I don't think of you like that, and you know I don't think of myself as _a great movie star---_ "

"Do I?" Haz shoots back challengingly, because they're competitive assholes.

"My boyfriend does," Tom snapped back, sounding hurt and angry in equal measure, "Don't know who this asshole is I'm talking to now."

Harrison's face heats with indignation even as he feels tears pricking at his eyes.  "Well sometimes I don't even feel like your boyfriend anymore!"

His chest is heaving and his eyes are wet, and he's sniffling and he feels pathetic.  Tom just stares at him, his hair fallen down into his face. 

"What are you saying?" Tom asks, like he dreads the answer.  "Are....are you breaking up with me??"

" _Fuck_ no, Christ---"

"Then what?  Why are you saying all this?"

"I---"  Haz rubbed his eyes hard.  "I don't know what I'm saying, Thomas."

"If...."  Tom shifts awkwardly.  "If you feel jealous of me, then we should talk about it..."

"I'm jealous of the bloody world!" Haz spits out in exasperation, flinging his arms wide as if to encompass this whole great big crazy _thing_ he feels is drifting them away from each other, "Because every day that goes by, I feel like it gets more of you and I get less.  And I know it makes me a great big selfish bastard to feel that way, but I do.  I do, Tommy, and maybe it's wrong, I dunno, I feel like I don't know what bloody way is up right now."

He sinks onto the couch and drops his head into his hands.  There's a long, lingering silence, and he waits to hear the door slam.  He can't look up.  He's a bloody coward.

The seat sinks beside him as Tom sits.  "How long have you been feeling this way, Haz?" Tom asks, and his voice is so damn soft, so gentle.  He's _worried_ about you, for spazzing out on him for no good reason.

Sniffle.  "A bit."

"Then _talk_ to me.  Hey....Haz, c'mon---"

A hand, gentle but insistent, cupping Haz's chin, pushing his face up.  Soft lips placed against his own.  "I love you," Tom says firmly.  And you _are_ my boyfriend.  Until if and when you no longer want to be, which I _really_ hope doesn't happen, because I don't want to face _the bloody world_ without you by my side."

He's too good.  Too pure.  Haz doesn't deserve him.  "I love you too," is what he says instead.  His heart settles a bit.

"Good," Tom says, wrapping a hand around the back of Haz's neck and pulling him into a firm, almost possessive kiss.  Haz's arms wrap around his neck.  "Now c'mon.  I think I need to show my boyfriend how much I love him."

In spite of the totally embarrassing mini-breakdown he just had, Haz lets out a wet giggle.  "Way to rush to the makeup sex part, Thomas."

"I'm just nailing you while you're vulnerable," Tom shrugs back, like the asshole that he is.  Haz loves him desperately.

They're not done talking.  And with Spider-Man 2 and Catch-22 hard on the horizon, there'll be hard days.  But for now, Haz lets Tom tug him by the hand toward the bedroom, where he'll let Tom make love to him, and afterward they'll lay there, splayed out side-by-side, sweaty and sated and trading soft kisses and fall asleep, and nothing hurts.

In the morning, Tom makes pancakes.  Haz wakes up with a smile.

 

 

 


End file.
